“How Reparenting Helped Me Love Better”
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I used to think I was bad at relationships. That I was too sensitive. Too needy. Too intense.
I couldn’t understand why love felt so heavy, or why I either clung too tightly or pushed people away altogether.
No matter how hard I tried, I always felt like I was too much for people…until I met the one person I was avoiding: my inner child.
Speaking of my inner child, have you downloaded your free inner child healing workbook yet?
Inner Child Healing and Relationships (and How It Helped Me Love Better)
The Wounds I Didn’t Know I Carried
Growing up, love felt conditional.
I learned that if I wanted to be loved, I had to shrink myself, my needs, and my voice.
If I did anything to even remotely upset my mom, I would be punished. Oftentimes physically.
Fast forward to my adult relationships, and I was suddenly replaying those same unhealthly patterns:
Feeling rejected when a text went unanswered
Overanalyzing everything I said so I wouldn’t be “too much”
Getting attached to emotionally unavailable people because they felt familiar
I thought I had commitment issues. I thought I was unlovable.
But in reality, it all was a little version of me—hurt, scared, and desperate to feel safe.
Recognizing the Patterns in My Love Life
The day I stumbled upon the phrase “inner child healing” on Instagram, I fell down a rabbit hole of reflection.
I realized that so many of my reactions weren’t actually me now.
Instead, they were my younger self trying to protect me with the only tools she had.
And once I started inner child work, things began to click:
Getting super depressed after an argument? That was me as a child thinking I’m better off alone.
Chasing affection? That was me trying to earn love the way I always deserved.
Sabotaging healthy relationships? That was my inner child panicking at the unfamiliar safety.
I wasn’t broken—I was just repeating what felt normal.
And everything changed when I started healing little Meagan.
How Inner Child Healing Transformed My Relationships
So let’s talk about the shifts that actually happened once I began reparenting myself…
1. I Became My Own Source of Safety
I used to expect my partner to make me feel secure.
Now, when I feel anxious or abandoned, I pause and ask: “What does little me need right now?”
Sometimes it’s a hug. Sometimes it’s reassurance. Sometimes it’s just reminding myself “You’re safe now.”
Through reparenting, I began meeting my own emotional needs—validation, comfort, and love.
I became the safe space I so desperately needed.
Learn to become more independent:
101 Codependency Affirmations (for Gaining Independence)
2. I Reacted Less, Communicated More
Instead of spiraling over a delay in communication or a disagreement, I started to pause.
I’d ground myself and give myself rational explanations like, “Maybe he’s just busy or taking a nap. You’re not annoying.”
And during disagreements, it became less about what he was doing and more about how I was reacting.
Instead of saying “You did such and such,” I’d say, “I’m feeling triggered because of what happened during childhood. Can we talk about it?”
That awareness of how I was projecting changed everything.
Do you need to become a better communicator?
101 Expressive Throat Chakra Affirmations (for Improving Communication and Inner Truth)
3. I Set Boundaries—Without Guilt
I used to feel mean saying the word “no”. Now, I see boundaries as the ultimate form of self-love.
Because, you know, if I don’t protect my inner child, who will?
When you protect your inner child, boundaries feel like love—not punishment.
HECK YEAH, COUNT ME IN!
So for the first time, I knew it was okay to say “no” without fearing rejection.
Learning to say “no” to what drains you, what’s hurtful, and what goes against your beliefs gives you space to say “yes” to what feeds you.
And that includes a healthier relationship and friendships.
Have you set these boundaries?
7 Self-Care Boundaries (to Finally Start Putting Yourself First)
4. I Chose a Partner Who Felt Safe, Not Just Exciting
The chase used to feel like chemistry.
I used to spend an hour planning my outfit the night before to hopefully catch his eye for just a moment.
I used to take mental pictures of his interests, so we would have something to talk about.
Now, I know I’m worthy just as I am and I’m interesting for who I am.
And that adrenaline? That was actually my nervous system being triggered, not falling in love.
Have you been in an abusive relationship?
27 Best Movies About Domestic Violence (That Are Cathartic)
How I Started Healing My Inner Child
Recognizing harmful patterns isn’t the only thing I had to do to heal my inner child.
Here’s what helped me most on this journey:
Journaling: I wrote about my childhood and all that I went through. I allowed myself to acknowledge how hard it actually was.
Guided Meditations: Inner child visualizations on YouTube were life-changing. I pictured hugging my younger self, holding her, and telling her she didn’t have to be perfect anymore.
Therapy: Having someone validate my experiences through trauma-informed therapy was so powerful.
Tarot readings: Gaining spiritual wisdom helped heal a part of me I didn’t even know existed.
Reparenting affirmations: I’d say things like, “I am safe now. I don’t have to earn love anymore.”
Want to learn more ways to heal?
13 Inner Child Healing Exercises (for Your Wounded Younger Self)
Loving Better Starts With Loving Younger You
Inner child healing isn’t some fluffy, cutesy trend.
It’s been one of the most difficult, grounding tools I’ve ever used in my self-growth and relationship journey.
Because when you finally give your younger self the love, safety, and care she’s always needed…you stop asking everyone else to fill that gap.
You love more clearly. More calmly. More securely.
Healing your inner child doesn’t mean you’ll never be triggered again.
But it does mean you’ll start recognizing when you’re reacting from an old wound.
And when you love yourself with the compassion you’ve always needed?
Your relationships transform, because they no longer have to fill a void.
They just get to be.
Bookmark this page for when you need a reminder on how to develop healthier relationships by reparenting yourself.
More inner child healing posts:
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Inner Child Healing and Healthy Relationships
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